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A Break Up Letter To Facebook

Dear Facebook,

Our relationship has come to an end as we know it,  I am sorry to say. Its not you.. its me. Do not be sad. Really, I am going to miss you. See look.. I have no more friends left to add. I do not know anymore people to send friend requests to. Look I have added:

-My co workers even the strange guy who keeps  inviting me to mob wars twice a week

-My Buddies who just created an account to add young college girls.

-All my high school friends, including those people I never said one word to and the senior who shoved me into the girls bathroom when I was a freshman. I guess we are friends now.

-Elementary school friends I have not spoken to since 2nd grade when we played star wars on the playground. So let us see I was  8 when I was 2nd grade and never spoke to them since. Do we even have anything to discuss? It was 30 years ago since I have talked to them I guess we must have alot of catching up to do.

– All the big names in social media  I follow but have no idea who I am like Chris Brogan, Robert Scoble, Brian Solis and such. So maybe there aren’t friend requests, more like “Fan Requests”. I’m just thrilled they added me back. I am such a fanboy.

-My friends’ friends, you know the type. You meet them at your common friend Ed’s party, then Facebook commands you must add them cause you have Ed in common. You have never talked to them or seen them since.

-The guy who bags my groceries, not sure how he got my email

– People who work at companies at Customer Service companies I emailed to complain about poor customer service so we emailed a few times: Yes You Susie at AT&T and Paul at G.E.! Not sure why you want to add me on Facebook but whatever. I figure they checked their email contacts in friend finder and just hit add all.

That is it, I have no one left to friend request. You have them all.I’m done..

Okay to be completely honest there is a little more to it:

-I have no more room for (Lil) Green patch

– I don’t need any more Pieces of Flair in my life

– I already have found out Which 80’s Movie defines me about 10 times (Ferris Bueller by the way)

-I really appreciate everyone asking me when my birthday is on Birthday Calendar but I wish they would send gifts or just look at the Facebook birthday notification on the front page. I just don’t get that application.

-The pressure to update your status. I can not handle it anymore. I’m just not that interesting! For example.. “Dave is Reading. Dave is eating. Dave is getting the boil lanced on his foot and boy does it hurt.” Hey I am just saying.

-Seeing what a great life that the girl I dated when I was 15 is having. She dumped me for the Junior who was 17 could drive. I still hate her for that. So thanks to you Facebook I can see she married the jerk(who invited some stupid tech thing) has 3 kids, great job and is loaded. That just brightens my day every time she posts status updates like ” Tiffany is playing tennis at noon on Wed. Tiffany is waiting on her Au Pair to show up. Tiffany..blah blah. Just salt in my wound.

So its over Facebook. I will miss you but I think with over 100,000,000 users you wont miss me…

Bye

See you around

Later

Are you still here?

Do you not  have somewhere to be?

Great, because I do not either.  I’m addicted. I must see what I am going for on Friends For Sale! and am I still 3rd in the Coolest Person Contest? Maybe I need to go to Facebook Users Anonymous.  I think I have a crush on Facebook.

So what is my point here?

That social networks are here to stay and they are going to grow and change from the way we are using them today. The way we use them will evolve. Once the wheat is separated from the chaff (i.e when they have matured). Social networks will focus on what we need them for most. They will evolve from still being somewhat of a nice way to catch up and trade flair  with friends to becoming even a more useful tool. A tool you will need in your everyday life. This will be the key.

The possibilities are endless.

Stay tuned as I will be explaining my thoughts on this further.

November 19, 2008 By : Category : Blog Tags:, ,
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